ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
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