her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
