So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize