And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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