Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
