Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
