I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
