I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I can't turn off my feet"
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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