if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
