This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
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he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
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Send help, water and tortillas.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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