Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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