Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
