Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
