Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Randomize
