I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
