No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
