Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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