I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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