your room smells of hookers.
And success
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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