pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
