Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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