If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
