i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
If I die, sorry about rent.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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