Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
