need another drink. this is the easiest way
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
