didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
