I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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