Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize