Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
