In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
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Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
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Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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