I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
