I met the friendliest cop last night
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
You're breaking my sexual little heart
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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