You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
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At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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