I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
