guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
