i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
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