I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
