8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
