I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Randomize
