He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
