either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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