OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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