Well douche your snatch and let's go!
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
