I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
BRING THE BAGELS
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
