allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
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