The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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