apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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