yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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