So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
