I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
