we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Randomize
