Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
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