We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
sex in a hospital.. check
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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