You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
