I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
You dont lie about slip and slides
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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